Up and Down Machine in Disguise
I’m quite shy to admit it but I thought in the cover was an armed horse that belonged to a medieval knight until the word “carrousel” was first mentioned in the book. Then I saw the poles sticking out to the top and bottom and went how could I miss this. I would be like this sometimes. On a completely unrelated, but a relevant note, it was just last week that I was listening to Avicii’s music. It was the AVĪCI(01) album. I’ve been listening to this one since it came out and all the time I’ve been seeing a white flower on its cover. But then weirdly that day, for the first time, I saw a golden tree. Then I couldn’t unsee it. So yeah, I would be doing this from time to time. But I still think I wasn’t wrong. I just perceived what carousels modeled in the first place – fancy horses. If you think about it, it’s never a plain naked horse. Carousel in essence is a disc turning while a machine with a seat moves up and down through a pole. The horse-like exterior and the ornaments evoke the magical sensation, as if you are a prince or a princess, or perhaps a knight. When you are old enough to see through the essence though, the story dissipates. Funny how the boy with the hunting hat didn’t want to get on a fantasy horse. I resonated with Holden throughout the whole book actually. I hope I have enough time in this post.
Written from scratch by Meston Ecoa
No assistance was received from any form of Artificial Intelligence.
Following Holden's Footsteps
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>: walk
>>: cab
>>>: subway
The first thing I did when I got off at Penn Station, I went into this phone booth. I felt like giving somebody a buzz. I left my bags right outside the booth so that I could watch them, but as soon as I was inside, I couldn’t think of anybody to call up.
– page 77
“Hey, do you mind turning around when you get a chance? I gave you the wrong address. I want to go back downtown.”
– page 78
“I can’t turn around here, Mac. This here’s a one-way. I’ll have to go all the way to Ninedieth Street now.” … Until we came out of the park at Ninetieth Street. Then he said, “All right, buddy. Where to?”
– page 78
Holden accidentally asked the taxi driver to head to his home. It’s later stated that they live on East 71st street. Also, it mentions they had to go through the park. I don’t see how they would have come out to 90th street when they were headed towards 71st. But the highlighted course is my best guess.
“Well, the thing is, I don’t want to stay at any hotels on the East side where I might run into some acquaintances of mine. I’m traveling incognito.”
– page 79
“Well – take me to Edmont, then,” I said. “Would you care to stop on the way and join me for a cocktail? On me, I’m loaded.”
– page 79
They had this night club, the Lavender Room, in the hotel.
– page 87
Edmont Hotel isn’t real. I just put it somewhere downtown. I suppose it could be anywhere in Midtown Manhattan as well. It’s also “Forty-one gorgeous blocks” away from Ernie’s bar.
Ernie’s is this night club in Greenwich Village that my brother D.B. used to go quite frequently before he went out to Hollywood and prostituted himself.
– page 104
This page seems to have done some research of Ernie’s. In the same location exists “The Half Pint / Ernie’s Bar” currently.
I had no place to go. It was only Sunday, I couldn’t go home till Wednesday – or Tuesday, the soonest. And I certainly didn’t feel like going to another hotel and getting my brains beat out. So what I did, I told the driver to take me to Grand Central Station. It was right near the Biltmore, where I was meeting Sally later.
– page 139
I started walking toward broadway, just for the hell of it, because I hadn’t been over there in years.
– page 149
After I got the tickets to the Lunts’ show, I took a cab up to the park. I should’ve taken a subway or something, because I was getting slightly low on dough. but I wanted to get off that damn Broadway as fast as I could.
– page 153
But I kept walking over to the Mall anyway, because that’s where Phoebe usually goes when she’s in the park. She likes to skate near the bandstand. That’s the same place I used to like to skate when I was a kid.
– page 153
Even though it was Sunday and Phoebe wouldn’t be there with her class or anything, and even though it was so damp and lousy out, I walked all the way through the park over to the Museum of Natural History.
– page 155
When I got to the museum, all of a sudden I wouldn’t have gone inside for a million bucks. … So all I did, in front of the museum, was get a cab and go down to the Biltmore. I didn’t feel much like going. I’d made that damn date with Sally, though.
– page 159
“Let’s go ice-skating at Radio City!” That’s the kind of ideas she always had.
– page 167
After the movie was over, I started walking down to the Wicker Bar, where I was supposed to meet old Carl Luce.
– page 181
In case you don’t live in New York, the Wicker Bar is in this sort of Swanky hotel, the Seton Hotel.
– page 184
I didn’t feel too drunk anymore when I went outside, but it was getting very cold out again, and my teeth starting chattering like hell. I couldn’t make them stop. I walked over to Madison Avenue and started to wait around for a bus. … But I didn’t feel like getting on a damn bus. … So what I did, I started walking over to the park.
– page 199
Then, finally, I found it. But I didn’t see any ducks around. I walked all around the damn lake.
– page 200
So I got the hell out the park, and went home. I walked all the way. It wasn’t too far, and I wasn’t tired and even drunk anymore. It was just very cold and nobody around anymore.
– page 203
“Phoebe Caulfield, She lives on Seventy-first street.”
– page 154
Mr. and Mrs. Antolini had this very swanky apartment over on the Sutton Place, with two steps that you go down to get in the living room.
– page 235
I didn’t know where the hell to go. I didn’t want to go to another hotel and spend all Phoebe’s dough. So finally all I did was I walked over to Lexington and took the subway down to Grand Central.
– page 252
It was Monday and all, and pretty near Christmas, and all the stores were open. So it wasn’t too bad walking on Fifth Avenue. It was fairly Christmasy.
– page 255
Meet me at the Museum of art near the door at quarter past 12 if you can and I will give you your Christmas dough back. I didn’t spend much.
– page 260
I started walking downtown toward the zoo, on the park side of the street, and she started walking downtown on the other goddam side of the street.
– page 270
After we left the bears, we left the zoo and crossed over this little street in the park, and then we went through one of those little tunnels that always smell from somebody’s taking a leak. It was on the way to the carrousel.
– page 271
Boy did the boy walk a lot. I did a calculation down below. He has been out in the city for roughly 36hours. Starting from about 3AM on Sunday at Penn Station to about 3PM on Monday until he returns home. I was in New York last year. It says on my Health app that I walked 20,570 steps on the day I went to Fat Black Pussycat. I am on the madman end of walking around when traveling. Holden’s step count is very impressive. He must’ve beat me since he barely got any sleep as well. He also rode the taxi a lot. I personally wouldn’t do that unless I was using corporate credit card. I decided to trace his steps and take you on a tour. I don’t know. You might like to have a visual appreciation of just how much wandering he did. Or, couple years have passed since you read the book and wouldn’t mind a recap.
41 gorgeous blocks from Ernie’s to Edmont Hotel: approx. 2miles
Grand Central Station – Broadway: 0.8mile
Central Park West – The Mall: 0.4mile
The Mall: The Museum of Natural History: 0.7mile
Radio City Music Hall – Seton Hotel: 1.0mile
Seton Hotel – Central Park Pond: 1.5miles
The walk around Central Park Pond: 0.5mile
Central Park Pond – Home on E 71st St: 1.0mile
Sutton Place – Lexington Ave subway station: 0.5mile
Grand Central Station – The Met: 2.1miles
The Met – Central Park Zoo: 0.9mile
Central Park Zoo – Central Park Carousel: 0.3mile
Central Park Carousel – Home on E 71st St: 1.0mile
It comes down to 12.7miles = 20.4km = 26,822 steps (30in / step)
This is excluding the walking he did within Grand Central Station, Broadway, Museum of Natural History, Seton Hotel, Phoebe’s school, The MET, the zoo. The actual steps would be considerably more than 26,822 steps.
Dying Nobly for some Highly Unworthy Cause
“I don’t want to scare you,” he said, “but I can very clearly see you dying nobly, one way or another, for some highly unworthy cause.” …”The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.”
– page 244
I don’t think this is the best way to communicate to a boy like Holden. But I do think it’s a beautiful way of putting it. I’ve read numerous comments of this novel telling the boy to grow up. I’ve been trying to think about the core of this “growing up”. What is growing up? My guess to this question as of now is “having chosen which game to play for the rest of your life, or at least, a considerable chunk of it”. At a certain point in life, your brain outgrows your body. And you realize the real problem is finding which problem you want to commit to. I would express the question of what to do with one’s life in this way. You have a bag, like a Santa’s sack, and you think about what to put in. That is, you decide which goals or values are worth your time and money. My theory is that life becomes simplier, and you have perhaps “grown up” when the primary question you ask yourself is “can I afford to put this in?” as opposed to “what should I put in next?”
When you are young, and you learn in school all these morals, great lives and romances, you begin to apply these to everyday situations. In this sense you become noble to even the most unworthy causes. You can also afford to do these. There’s nothing stopping you from donating $160 to nuns you just met at a restaurant ($10 in 1946 is roughly this much in 2024). Concessions on any level seem cheap. Holden comments on his brother’s writing career to be prostitution. I remember back in kindergarten there was one time I came home really late. It was that some kids have made a puddle of water right at the bottom of the slide. So this one friend and I decided, in our nobility, to fill the puddle up with sand. I remember feeling really proud about that.
You are older. Now you have a spouse, a kid, grandparents dying, parents nearing death, yourself getting weaker. You have debt, a job, obligations. Your lucky if you have a career that you are passionate about and it keeps the family fed. Then the decision problem becomes extraordinarily easy. It’s almost like life will start making decisions for you. For Holden’s case this is more extreme since he comes from a wealthy family. Without any obligations, he can take time for deciding what to put in his sack, i.e. choosing what to pursue in his life. I find it very understandable. Adolescence is possibly a phase in life where you retain the luxury not to do anything. Though voluntary, the indecision is not always pleasant. I found it funny how it was not the money in his pocket that had the most value, but the keys to his home on the upper east side. It represents a safe haven and an endlessly replenishing source of money. It’s also ironic since it seemed like a part of him wouldn’t have minded life forcing decisions, so that he can get out of the limbo, like when he was out of money and couldn’t afford to take the taxi anymore. He might have thought what he needs to give up is not just the extra cash, but this key, but that’s impossibly hard. In this sense I can also get why he considered running away.
I guess I really get Holden. If I’m being completely honest, I think I’m still in the same shoes. I’m finding cause, what to do with my life.